Europe North to South: Amsterdam -> Napoli
Goal
With a fairly major hamstring operation impending (thank you running!) and a six-week layoff on crutches and then rehab, the desire for a decent pre-op tour was substantial. But where to go? Not really keen on the US at the mo, Canada an option, Taiwan too but still too hot there.. What about Europe North to South to go with the West to East trip from last year?
How did it go?
This trip had no UK component - flying into Schiphol and starting in continental Europe. Overall, it was a really cool trip, taking in nine countries on the way down to Napoli. Getting over the Alps via the Albula and Furon passes was a highlight - climbing because I had to get over that mountain range vs doing Ventoux for fun. After the Alps, the heat in Italy became an issue. I tried to compensate by starting at 06:30 - 07:00 which helped but the end of each day was still 35+ degrees. Crazy temps for early September.. Overall, I feel like I really earned this tour - there were a few days when I had to really work at it. I don’t remember days like that for Prague, Sardinia or California.
Here’s the interactive version generated by the Python code - click on the stars to see day-by-day stats..
18-Day Ride Summary
| Day | Distance_km | Time_h | AvgSpeed_kmh | Calories | Elevation_m |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 166.006 | 6.77226 | 24.5126 | 3776 | 246 |
| 2 | 120.639 | 4.90123 | 24.614 | 2718 | 497 |
| 3 | 106.037 | 4.36282 | 24.3048 | 2432 | 806 |
| 4 | 118.764 | 4.63727 | 25.6107 | 2625 | 728 |
| 5 | 121.634 | 4.63836 | 26.2234 | 2837 | 641 |
| 6 | 148.828 | 5.97992 | 24.8879 | 3496 | 824 |
| 7 | 106.162 | 4.31856 | 24.5827 | 2309 | 795 |
| 8 | 139.965 | 5.89916 | 23.7262 | 3124 | 564 |
| 9 | 105.926 | 5.79676 | 18.2734 | 3541 | 2236 |
| 10 | 114.523 | 4.84876 | 23.619 | 2240 | 1009 |
| 11 | 129.695 | 4.40907 | 29.4155 | 2848 | 229 |
| 12 | 154.011 | 5.85614 | 26.2992 | 3146 | 389 |
| 13 | 100.603 | 4.1273 | 24.375 | 2027 | 107 |
| 14 | 131.743 | 5.56928 | 23.6553 | 2376 | 300 |
| 15 | 100.226 | 3.98693 | 25.1387 | 1849 | 457 |
| 16 | 142.172 | 5.74131 | 24.763 | 2956 | 415 |
| 17 | 121.033 | 5.83895 | 20.7285 | 3174 | 1687 |
| 18 | 122.132 | 4.80935 | 25.3947 | 2082 | 506 |
49,556 calories burned total - and by god I needed them!
Day 1: Schiphol - Eindhoven
Day 1 involves travelling and cycling. Civilised start in Cardiff circa 8 am, all the drama was yesterday trying to pack the bike into the box from Prague last year with lots of sweating and swearing. Drop the box off at over-size luggage with no dramas. KLM run a small aircraft from CWL to AMS so I was slightly worried but no-one even mentioned it. Got a cup of coffee and a tasteless sandwich on the plane! I thought such luxuries on short-haul were a thing of the past.. Now comes the hard part. First change into cycling clothes in the mens toilets at Schiphol, a task just as grim as it sounds. Managed to pick a cubicle beside a guy with diarrhoea too which lended additional tension. Next acquire the bike box from the belt undamaged - done! Finally build the bike back up in the luggage hall, ignoring the odd gaze. Time to get going! A quick pic under the Schiphol sign, wonder why my handlebars are turning but the wheel is not - tighten the headset and we’re off! Try to follow a car under a barrier and my 2,250 km cycling trip almost starts at km 1 with a comical accident.
Dry but pretty windy (and by windy I mean head-windy). I’m tired - travelling and bike-assembling takes it out of you. Only 130km today. Get to a ferry river crossing which is CLOSED!!! Water levels too low apparently. Back-track 20 km and 10 km later back on track for Eindhoven. Get in quite late (after 10 pm) to my Eindhoven B&B - (the same one I stayed at last year) pretty tired. Shower and then to bed.
Day 2: Eindhoven - Stolberg
Today has me dipping in and out of Netherlands and Belgium, finally ending up in Germany. Stop at Maaseik for lunch including their local delicacy - knapkoek. My destination today should really be Aachen but I couldn’t find a hotel there at all - must be something on. Instead I’m out in the sticks in Zweifall, rhymes with the Adele song.. Flattish today, rain threatens but never delivers - until I’m safely in the hotel. Then the heavens open with a proper summer thunderstorm. My hotel has a restaurant and I have the meat platter and a stein of beer - danke shun!
Day 3: Stolberg (Rheinland) - Waxweiler
More rain overnight but by 09:30 the roads were mostly dry. Got going after breakfast - the majority of today was the Vennbahn. Got lots of signs for fallen trees and decided to ignore them and by golly there were a lot of trees down. Ended up scrambling through thick undergrowth to get round some of them. Eventually stopped for a huge and expensive doner kebap beside a Carrefour shop then got going again. Rain last 5km to get into Waxweiler nice and wet.
Day 4: Waxweiler - Merzig
Waxweiler has a big statue of the Virgin Mary overlooking it - apparently they had a very quiet WW2 until it was used as a staging area for the Ardennes offensive in Dec 1944 so the allies blew the f**k out of it in January 1945. The then-Waxweilers got such a shock from this entirely unforeseeable cause-and-effect that they swore to build a statue if they survived the war. The bombing killed plenty of “ost gastarbeiters” as well as Germans, but their names don’t get to make the plaque by the church.
It’s hot today and also Sunday so nearly everything is shut. Come off-course quite a bit to find a Bäckerei beside a Lidl and get to Merzig by tootling along beside the Saar. Merzig hotel is recently refurbed and generally nice with a brewery restaurant right beside it. After a hearty Schnitzel and chips plus a local brew, it’s back to the hotel to watch Dr Who and Princess Xena re-runs dubbed in German.
Day 5: Merzig - Neuwiller
Today starts with a traumatic event. I forgot to pack a razor and my hotel offers free ones so I got one. Worst shave of my life and I spent 10 minutes inflicting blunt pain on my face. Breakfast was good though and I snaffled two big rolls absolutely stuffed with nutella for the road.
I’m crossing into France today, going via Saarbrucken. The river path is unremarkable, the odd interesting bridge to look at. The road into Neuwiller gets a bit lumpy towards the end, then a draggy climb up and down to my gîte for the night. This, combined with a heavy burst of rain makes me quite glad to get off the bike. After the rain dies down I wander into town and pick up some food shopping.
Day 6: Neuwiller-lès-Saverne - Tennenbronn / Schramberg
It rained a lot overnight and then until about 10:30. I took a chance on waiting it out which paid off handsomely. On the road with a paupers breakfast because I forgot to buy anything in the shops so keen to get something on the road. My goal today is Tennenbronn deep inside the Black Forest. The road today gets much more scenic and interesting. Lots to see as the miles pass by under my wheels.
The cycle path goes right past the european parliament in Strasbourg so I nip up for a photo. It’s all locked down for security and looks to be on holiday. Get a picture at the “Strasbourg ❤️ Europe” sign and putter on. Then the front wheel gets squishy and I realise that Strasbourg has given me the gift of a flat tyre. Pull into a cafe and swap in a new tube over some coffee and pastries. Rain threatens but backs off.
I really need to start looking at contour lines when booking accom - Tennenbronn is at the end of a stinker of a climb - should have stayed in Schramberg. And the road is closed! I take a chance and just go up it - hopefully bikes can make it through. They can and I’m finally there. Hot today - a prelude to Italy after the Alps.. Cool at night though which is a blessed relief.
Day 7: Schramberg - Konstanz
Last night had pizza for dinner in quite a strange pub but there was precisely one place open in Tennenbronn so beggars can’t be choosers. Was sleeping well until some prick in another room had his alarm go off at 6 am and then every 15 minutes after that. What a wanker. A good breakfast put me back in a good mood and I hit the road. Another spicy climb to start the day and I’ve just completed it when I have two missed calls on my phone. It’s the gasthaus telling me that I forgot to pay them! I’ve booked 18 accoms for this trip and have an avalanche of emails from booking.com telling me payment is being taken x days in advance. But some properties (like this one) want you to pay on-site. Mea culpa and I apologise profusely. They can get booking.com to charge my card and then send me an invoice for the 0.90 cents tourist tax. International disaster averted, it’s time to crack on. Warmer again today - we’re consistently getting up to 30+ celsius day after day. Finally get onto a road taking me into Konstanz around the lake and I get to the hotel. It’s a nice place but my room is up in the eaves with no aircon - shit. Fitful sleep and I’ve decided to get going as early as possible tomorrow to beat the heat, before breakfast even starts.
Day 8: Konstanz - Chur
After a fitful sleep in a hot attic room, I wake up at 05:30 and have a couple of bananas and pretzels for breakfast - the hotel breakfast starts at 07:30 and I’ll be long gone by then. Splash some air into the tyres and hit the road in lovely cool temps of 18 degrees C. I meet a few cyclists commuting into work at this hour and then the sun rises over the lake but it’s hard to get a really nice photo of it. This is my last flat day before the Alps and I want to cruise efficiently. Cross the border into Switzerland and then Liechtenstein and slowly the scenery starts to change. I’m following a small busy river upstream in a valley with the headwinds slowly building and building - eventually I realise it’s the Rhine! Bloody hell it’s small up here. Stop at Vaduz for a food / water break and it’s boiling. Not far to Chur now, but the headwind becomes extraordinary - one of the worst I’ve experienced. The road is elevated above the river so there is no shelter - just buckle down and get it done. The damage is offset by cycling towards the extraordinary vista of the Alps unfolding as I get nearer - takes my mind off the work. I’m pedalling so hard with my head down I clip elbows with a cyclist ahead of me on the path. Both of us wobble - entirely my fault and I apologise profusely Finally roll into Chur and mentally mark a McDonalds downtown for a post-ride feast. Check into the hotel amid a rising apprehension of the climbing to come tomorrow..
Day 9: Chur - Zernez
Of all the days I thought about skipping by nipping on a train, this would be it. Went downstairs early and the front wheel has flatted overnight - there are roadworks right outside my hotel and another bit of flint went in. This front tyre is turning into a bit of a liability now though and only have one tube left. Fix the tyre and have breakfast. This hotel has put me 4 floors up with no lift! This is taking the piss.. Chur has a Decathlon so cycle there for 09:30 when it opens and buy tubes and electrolyte tabs - this turned out to be a master move.
Finally on the way - the Alps look ominous, majestic and horrendous all at the same time. It’s a strange road to get out of Chur up to a village and then a descent before the climbing really starts. Every village has a fountain with cold, clear beautiful water. This, combined with the electrolyte tabs is a game-changer for me.
I have to negotiate a series of tunnels at the base of the Alps before the climb starts. The Swiss are shit drivers - really dangerous and no consideration for cyclists at all. I’m a pretty confident cyclist but the close-passing in the tunnels by these Swiss wankers is really starting to piss me off. I’ve had enough and stop in a hotel for some soup and a roll to see if I can find a quieter road. I can’t - road selection is very limited due to the small number of passes, so best just get on with it.
Then the road quietens down considerably after a turn-off, now the stupid drivers are mainly bus drivers trying to carry speed going up the mountain.
The climb is stern for sure - there’s a drag in the middle that is a real tester with a loaded bike. The heavens open up - there’s a big thunderstorm further away from me and I’m being pelted with rain. But the fountains and bars of chocolate carry me through on a wave of sugar and I’ve crested Albula Pass! Entirely barren but the temps are fine - not freezing at all. The descent is very enjoyable. And into Zernez we go.
Day 10: Zernez - Lana
It rained on and off in Zernez all evening. The B&B recommended a pizzeria next door and it was indeed very good. The B&B WiFi was crap in my room so went to bed early. Decent breakfast the next day, got the bike out of the garage and did a bit of maintenance, in particular checking the brakes after they got a good pounding on the descent yesterday. As per the France trip, the front caliper is squealy as fuck even with high quality new pads, but it works.
The climb starts right out of Zernez, but that’s ok with me. In fact it’s all front-loaded today with a long, fast descent into Lana in South Tyrol. The road is busy - cars and busses. The busses are just as bad at close-passing as the cars because they are trying to hold momentum going up the climb therefore they want to get back in and avoid braking for cars coming the opposite way. A few weeks after this trip a dutch bus crashed near Zernez - 5 dead and 40 injured. I wasn’t surprised.
Turns out today is Stelvio Day! Just over the Italian border I join a stream of thousands of cyclists enjoying their descent off that iconic pass - for me after yesterday Pass dal Fuorn was quite enough thank you with my loaded-out bike. Also looking at the photos online it looked busy as fuck going up there - potential for accidents. Soon their way and mine part and I find myself in some kind of upper Alpine pasture straight out of The Sound of Music. It’s unbelievable scenery - probably the prettiest I’ve ever seen in a sugary, pastiche manner (not bad, just is what it is).
Once the altitude bleeds off and I’m in South Tyrol proper, it gets very got - 35+. Stop for one of the biggest doner kebaps I have ever eaten in my life which takes a while to arrive and I’m keen to get going. Just about manage to finish it and hoist myself back on the bike like a two-ton tessie.
On the run into Lana I start to go through miles and miles of apple orchards - turns out this is called the apple orchard of Europe. The apples are massive and I’m getting more and more tempted as I cycle through. Eventually I succumb and take one, looking furtively around as I do so, sure that some cane corso will come running out of the orchard and nip my bollocks off. Crime committed, it’s a short run into Lana to a very nice hotel where they only speak German it seems to me.
Day 11: Lana - Ala
My hotel had no aircon but I had a big suite to myself under the Swiss-style eaves with a balcony so left all the windows and doors open. The breakfast was extremely good - as attested by the people posting pictures to instagram.
Usually on tours I always have a lazy start - breakfast at 08:45, ablutions, pack the bike and happy to be on the road for 10 am. Not now though, it’s way too warm. Now I’m trying to be on the road just after sunrise / 06:30 which is a pain in the hole. But that gives 2 cool hours before it gets baking.
Today features a belter of a cycle path that is Sunday-busy. Get into a tasty pace line and we clip along at a lovely pace. At a turn, a crusty old Italian geezer squeezes past me in the line even though I’m faster than him - wizened features, wrinkly arms, rim brakes, campag gears - the full 10 yards. That’s ok though, it’s Sunday and I’m touring. Next he starts shouting at his mate to come through on me as well. Fuck off grandpa, I’m not having that. Get a glare and I smile back at him - fuck you Federico.
The hotel is a bit strange but ok and has aircon and decent wifi. The reviews say that the adjacent restaurant has some of the best curry in Italy (!) so I decide to take a punt on a chicken curry. It’s a solid 3/10 and I laughed when the naan bread came - it was just a pizza base!
Day 12: Ala - Fiesso Umbertiano
Today promises to be a scorcher so it’s up early again. The breakfast setup is one of those where everytning is sweet, sugary, wrapped in plastic with a best before date two years in the future. Yum! I also get some sugary orange juice in and I can actually feel my teeth enamel start to let go in my mouth.
Hit the road and it’s roasting by 11 am. I’m in the Po valley now and basically that means mostly flat, usually following a river and the faint smell of milk a lot of the time. Stop twice for food, both supermarkets. I’ve latched on to grapes as my go-to food of choice now. Italian grapes are delish and I’m wolfing them down to get some carbs and hydration. I knew the target hotel today was a bit unconventional but when I arrive there - fuck me.. It’s in an industrial estate and wouldn’t look out of place in the shittiest eastern european town from the 1970s. It has barely functioning aircon though so thank god for small mercies.
In my touring experience you can always tell a quality establishment by how they feel when you try and bring your bike to the room. This guy didn’t bat an eyelid - I could have told him I was planning on birthing two calves and a lamb and he wouldn’t give a shit. And when I get to the room the reason for this laissez faire attitude is all too clear.. But I mean I think I paid £40 and it has aircon.
There is nothing around for miles so it’s also time to brave the in-house pizzeria for dinner. As I approach, the door opens and a billow of smoke pours out - the oven is malfunctioning and the whole place reeks of smoke.
Wearily I sit down and order a pizza salami with a can of coke. It arrives quickly (clearly the oven was already up to temp) and…. it is straight up the best pizza I have ever tasted in my life. And it’s huge!! I can’t believe it. The pizzeria itself is shit - annoying flies buzzing around, the smoke, strange staff, but the food is absolutely glorious! Sated, it’s time to hit the hay.
Day 13: Fiesso Umbertiano - Ravenna
[TODO: Day 13 narrative.]
Day 14: Ravenna - Marotta
[TODO: Day 14 narrative.]
Day 15: Marotta - Fermo
[TODO: Day 15 narrative.]
Day 16: Lido di Fermo - Fossacesia
[TODO: Day 16 narrative.]
Day 17: Fossacesia - Rocchetta Nuova
[TODO: Day 17 narrative.]
Day 18: Rocchetta Nuova - Napoli (END OF TOUR!)
[TODO: Day 18 narrative.]